Surrender
by EnglishPoet18
Summary: Rickyl oneshot set between seasons 2 and 3 after the fall of the farm when the group is on the move for a safer location. Daryl makes a risky move that plagues at Rick. I own nothing from The Walking Dead. SLASH
1. Chapter 1

**Rickyl oneshot that takes place between seasons 2 and 3 when the group is on the move from the fall of the farm. It's quite long, but I hope I did it justice and that you all enjoy. Thanks for reading!**

**...**

**"It is inevitable that some defeat will enter even the most victorious life. The human spirit is never finished when it is defeated...it is finished when it surrenders." -Ben Stein**

**"True love is friendship set on fire." -Anonymous**

...

There is a distinct difference between being lost and not having anywhere to go to. Daryl Dixon had experienced both of these feelings throughout his lifetime.

He remembered bits and pieces of a time he had gotten lost in the woods when he was probably somewhere around the age of five or six. He didn't remember much about wandering around in the woods all by himself, but he did remember that Merle and his father had been on this trip with him. He thought that it might have been a hunting trip, but he wasn't too sure. He knew he had wandered around lost for quite some time before Merle had found him. He remembered that part clearly for the simple fact that it had been Merle who had ultimately come looking for him. He had followed Merle back to camp only to find that his own father hadn't even bothered to seek him out. He remembered that big strong hand clamping onto his puny shoulder and the whiskey filled voice, _"Should have left him there Merle. Do the boy some good to be lost for a bit...Make him into a man instead of one of these fruitcakes that run around here nowadays."_ Merle and his father had shared a laugh, making some joke about gay men that Daryl hadn't quite understood at the time, but had bothered him all the same.

It was memories like that that stuck with Daryl, those words that would haunt him for years to come. It wasn't even the worst thing his father had ever done, but it was the one memory that never seemed to fade over time. It was the one that would surface in his mind the first time he ever looked at a guy in any other way than friendship.

It was in his senior year of high school that Daryl found himself paired with a guy in his class for a science project. Nothing even happened between the two of them. Daryl just remembered the feelings that had washed over him when their hands had brushed and how badly it had scared yet excited him. He was filled with a sense of relief that perhaps nothing was wrong with him after all. All of those times that Merle had pushed different girls at him, trying to "make him a man" had only succeeded in making him even more confused as to why he didn't desire them. Once he discovered that he was attracted to men, he grew scared that others would look at him and automatically _know_. That fear kept him from forming any sort of relationship beyond the boundary of friendship.

Then there was Rick. Daryl had hated the man and all that he stood for upon their initial meeting. Dixon's had never been friendly with cops, least of all a sheriff. Over time he had gotten to know Rick a little better, but not because Daryl sought him out. For some reason Rick had begun seeking Daryl out. He would start talking to him and Daryl would just sit quietly letting the man's words wash over him. He sensed that Rick had a lot to get off of his chest and he was right. Rick was stressed about his pregnant wife Lori, his son Carl, finding food, and ultimately keeping their group safe. As the months passed, Rick came to him more and more, but it wasn't always just to spout off at whatever was eating at him. He began asking Daryl how he was doing too, as well as asking his opinion on different matters. At first Daryl thought he was just taking pity on him and it made him pissed off, but Rick really seemed to be interested in what he had to say. He hadn't ever had that before.

So when the farm and several members of their group had gone down in a blaze full of walkers, Daryl found himself slipping into the role of Rick's second in command. It was a comfortable position for him and one he didn't mind being in. It allowed him to be closer to Rick and to keep an eye on him at the same time. It came as no surprise to anyone how close the pair of them had gotten just in the course of several months.

...

Their group was tired, bordering on exhaustion as they surged onward, seeking out a safe place of refuge. The amount of walkers they encountered seemed like an endless wave of death. It rushed at them so quickly that they barely had time to jump over the crest before another was approaching. It was because of this that Daryl hadn't had the chance to hunt and the reason that they were slowly starving. He could see the look of hunger over every one of their faces that echoed the constant look of worry on Rick's.

They traveled by foot mainly because it was quicker than trying to locate a vehicle with enough gas to take them anywhere combined with the fact that the roads were littered with abandoned vehicles. Somewhere around late afternoon they entered a small town, no more than a single strip of businesses, but enough that they were hopeful they might find food. Everyone was irritable, but despite it all they were pushing forward.

"What do you call a cow with no legs?" Glen asked suddenly.

Daryl shot him an incredulous look, but remained quiet as his eyes scanned the small town they were quickly approaching. A long silence followed and Daryl began to feel bad that no one was answering the guy when Hershel finally spoke up.

"What?" Hershel asked.

"Ground beef," Glen deadpanned.

Daryl paused and he saw Rick's eyebrows crease as if he had just tuned into the conversation. Then Hershel began to chuckle, softly at first and then a bit louder, his belly shaking with mirth. Several members of the group smiled, including Daryl himself and Carl even let out a giggle that had Rick's eyes softening a bit.

"That was about the best damn cow joke I've ever heard son," Hershel remarked with a light slap to Glen's back, making the younger man flush.

The others all murmured their agreement and Daryl found himself stepping into place beside Rick as they stopped underneath several trees to survey the town before them.

"What do you think?" Rick asked quietly, sliding his eyes in Daryl's direction.

"Worth taking a look. Might be some food and other supplies we could use."

Rick nodded, "I agree. I'll go and take a look, check things out."

Daryl frowned, "By yourself? Who's gonna watch your back? That's crazy. I'm comin' with you."

"Someone has to stay with them," Rick glanced back at the others who were resting against an old truck, leaning against one another for comfort. "You and I are the strongest here right now," Rick spoke in a low voice.

"Exactly. All the more reason you shouldn't go alone in case somethin' happens. You got a wife an' kid to think about. Besides, we go together we can move faster. T-Dog's still pretty good and Maggie ain't too bad with a gun."

Rick eyed him for several more moments and then shook his head in defeat, "You always get your way?"

"Ya know I'm right," Daryl replied.

Rick sighed and then reluctantly nodded, "Alright. Let's go share the plan."

They headed back to the group and discussed their next course of action. The bulk of the group would remain by the truck under the shade of the trees. T-Dog, Glenn, Maggie, and Carol were to be given the best weapons for defense. They would keep an eye out for any walkers and T-Dog would signal with a low whistle if any were spotted.

"We'll be back as soon as possible. Shouldn't take long," Rick commented before they headed off.

The two of them crossed the street and edged their way along the buildings, taking out a couple of stragglers that wandered in their direction. Daryl kept his bow aimed and ready while Rick gripped a small hatchet as he peered through dusty windows looking for a sign of food.

"Maybe we should split up. You take that side of the street and I'll take this side. Cover more ground that way...something doesn't feel right," Rick said.

"You mean the absence of walkers?" Daryl asked and Rick nodded. "Was just thinkin' that myself. I'll head on over. Signal to me if you find anything. Don't wanna linger in this place too long. Gives me the creeps."

"I thought the infamous Daryl Dixon wasn't afraid of anything?" Rick teased as Daryl started to cross the small street.

"Big difference between bein' scared and bein' cautious," Daryl called over his shoulder and he heard Rick's light chuckle follow him.

Shaking his head, Daryl headed straight to the first building, working from the opposite end that Rick had started so that he could keep one eye in that direction. He swiped his hand over a large storefront window, wiping through layers of grime and dust to peer inside. Minutes later, a couple of walkers ran into the glass, trying desperately to get to him through the thick window.

"Dumb bastards," He scowled.

He crossed to the next building and peered inside, barely making out what appeared to be a hardware store. It seemed worth the effort to take a glimpse around. He waited several moments to ensure that all was quiet before trying the door only to find it locked. He sighed in frustration and leaned his crossbow against the brick of the building as he dug out his knife. He slipped the blade between the knob and the door, trying to work it open.

The high pitched noise that erupted suddenly made Daryl jump into alertness, nearly dropping his knife in the process. He glanced first at Rick and the other man met his eyes. Daryl signaled that he would check it out and Rick gave him the thumbs up as he continued on his search. Daryl was halfway down the street when he saw what had happened. A lone walker must have staggered too closely to a vehicle that was equipped with a car alarm and coincidentally set the alarm off. He aimed and shot a bolt through the offending walker's brain as Glen rushed over to the car and began working to dismantle the loud noise.

Daryl glanced back at Rick once more, "Rick! We need to go!" He shouted. They were live bait sitting here with that loud noise likely attracting walkers from everywhere within a one mile radius. The thought was unsettling at best.

He could see the others from his vantage point as they crowded together, their eyes more alert to pressing danger now. Daryl could feel the sweat begin to pop out on his forehead as he tried to keep one eye on everyone, but it wasn't possible. He only had two eyes that needed to be looking in three different directions at once.

"What's takin' so long?" Daryl shouted to Glen and the man held up a finger in response. Seconds later, the alarm was silenced and the air grew quiet around them once again. Glen gave Daryl a thumbs up and Daryl nodded in response as the man jogged back over to the group. Daryl glanced behind him for Rick again and spotted him trying to work his way into a building at the very end.

"Hurry up!" Daryl called out.

Rick didn't acknowledge his shout in any way and that frustrated Daryl to no end. He paced in a small circle, hesitant to leave his position for fear that something would happen.

It was Beth's voice that ultimately sent chills through him, "Walkers!" She cried. He frowned as several walkers began stumbling through the thick underbrush of the woods towards their small group. The others immediately began springing into action, Lori and Carl pushed to the back of them.

Daryl cursed as he snapped his bow into position, ducking when a gunshot rang out. Whipping around, his eyes scanned the area to find one of his worst fears come true. Rick was surrounded by a small herd of walkers and was desperately trying to hold them at bay with his gun.

Springing into action, Daryl fired off several bolts, taking out a walker's eye just as its jaws snapped too closely to Rick's face. He was short of breath and his chest felt tight, internally pulled into two different directions at once. Making a hasty decision, Daryl shouldered his bow and grabbed his knife. As he raised his hand high above his head, Rick's eyes met his and he could see something flash through them, but there was no time to decipher it. Daryl dug the tip of his knife across his arm, watching as the blood began to rain down over him as he continued to hold it high above his head in the hopes that the wind might carry the scent. Then he began to yell, making as much noise as possible to grab the attention of the dead. He ran up the street, drops of blood flying behind him as his heart thundered within his chest.

He reached the herd that Rick fought against and began knifing as many of the walkers as possible. It only took a moment for the walkers to turn away from Rick and saunter towards Daryl, their greedy jaws snapping the air. He knew it was too many for their group to take on in their current condition, but Daryl had a plan. He began to back away from the herd, moving himself towards the woods.

"Go! Take the others!" Daryl shouted to Rick.

Rick snarled as he whipped his knife through the air, slicing a walker across the neck causing rotten guts to spew forth onto the ground like vomit. "I'm not leaving you!" Rick yelled.

Daryl released a growl of frustration even as he broke the jaw off of another attacking walker. "Goddammit Rick! Don't be stubborn. Take the others! I'll catch up in a bit!"

Somewhere in the background, Daryl heard another voice, one that Rick couldn't ignore.

"Dad!" Carl shouted frantically.

And with one last glance at him, Rick turned and ran in the opposite direction leaving Daryl behind to lead the walkers away from the others and to hopefully save their life.

...

It felt like hours before they were finally able to stop, but in reality Rick knew it wasn't that long. Lori could only run for so long at a time and several others were helping guide her along, almost carrying her at times.

They ended up in front of a farmhouse that Rick looked at ironically, thinking of Hershel's farm. Nearly falling with exhaustion, the others collapsed inside after clearing it out. Rick sought out Carl and reassured himself that his son was indeed okay by rubbing one hand through his slightly longer hair affectionately.

Daryl was still out there and now that they had a moment to think, Rick knew there was no way that Daryl was going to be able to find them. Even as much as an expert as he was at tracking, it would take him too long to finally pick up their trail. Rick didn't want to wait that long. They needed Daryl back. _He_ needed Daryl back. It didn't feel right with Daryl out there and not here with them.

So while the others sat for a moment to rest, Rick remained standing, his decision made. "I'm going back for Daryl."

"What?" Lori was the first to speak, her expression creased with worry as she held one hand over her protruding belly. "That's suicide, Rick."

Rick shook his head, "I know the direction he went. I can find him," he insisted.

Lori pushed herself to a standing position with the help of Carol and made her way over to Rick. They walked into the hallway where they would have a sliver of privacy.

"I don't like this Rick. What good is it gonna do you to go back out there alone looking for Daryl Dixon? He's a tracker...he'll be fine."

Rick huffed and his jaw twitched as he looked at the wall, trying to find the words to express to his wife what this man meant to the group...what this man meant to _him_. He wouldn't just leave him out there, not when he had sacrificed himself so many times for their group already. Rick couldn't understand how Lori could write him off so easily, but then again she wasn't the same woman he had loved when they married. She had changed into someone different, someone he didn't even recognize anymore. It was news to no one that their marriage was practically over, this unborn baby being the last shred to tie them together.

"Well you don't get a say so in this anymore. You lost that right when you _fucked_ Shane," he hissed. Lori flinched, but he kept on. "I _know_ him. I'm going to find him. There was food back at that town. We'll bring it back when we come if possible."

She nodded and looked away from him, refusing to meet his eyes, "Whatever you say."

...

Daryl finally found the group's trail as the sun started to set and he changed course to locate somewhere to sleep for the night instead. Crossing through a small field and thick brush, he found himself standing in a cemetery. It brought him an odd sense of comfort to know that at least these people wouldn't be coming back. A small church sat on the other side of the cemetery and Daryl headed in that direction.

Halfway across the cemetery a shadow loomed in the distance and he picked up his pace, cursing at having used all of his bolts. He would need to make more and soon. As he came to the corner of the small brick building, he glanced in that direction again and paused. Squinting into the distance, he could just make out a tall and lanky figure that he would recognize anywhere. He felt a surge of relief in that instant to see him alive and coming back for him. Rick came back for _him. _Emitting a low whistle, Daryl caught his attention and Rick perked up, jogging in his direction with his own expression of relief.

"Man am I glad to see you," Rick called as he caught up with Daryl.

"Everyone else okay?" Daryl waited, hoping that they hadn't suffered any casualties.

Rick nodded, "They're all fine, just exhausted. We're holed up in a farmhouse a couple of miles out."

"Farmhouse, eh?"

Rick smirked, "Believe me, the irony is not lost on me."

Daryl glanced up at the sky and the fading light, "Come on. Help me clear this church out so we can sleep. We'll head back in the mornin'."

Rick nodded and together they worked to clear the church of a grand total of four walkers that hardly put up a fight. They closed the heavy wooden doors and slid a church pew in front to hold them in place. Daryl leaned near a window, peering out for any signs of danger, but there were none. Behind him, he could sense a turmoil in Rick and he turned as the man began pacing the carpeted floor. He sensed that there was something on Rick's mind, but he was willing to wait him out. Eventually he knew that Rick would tell him.

"That was a stupid thing you did back there."

Daryl whipped his head around, eyes narrowed as Rick spoke. He pushed himself away from the window, setting his crossbow down as he approached Rick. "What the hell do you mean?"

Rick's eyes flashed, "Cutting yourself like that so all those walkers would follow you? You were lucky you didn't die!"

"You might wanna keep your voice down," Daryl hissed.

Rick's hand caught the leather of his vest as he turned and Daryl tensed for a hit that he felt sure was to come. Except it didn't. He glanced at Rick and could see the fear and anguish barely disguised behind the fury that laced his eyes.

"You don't understand," Rick began again, his voice thick. "I can't lose you. I need you."

Daryl's pulse began to flutter and he snatched his vest away from Rick's grip like it was on fire. "You mean the _group_ needs me."

Rick shook his head, looking torn as he battled something inside of his head. "No. _I_ do Daryl. This has nothing to do with them."

"What are you gettin' at here Rick?" Daryl asked defensively.

He tried to keep a safe distance from the other man, already feeling those familiar feelings begin to stir within him. He fought them down like he always did, intending to take care of them later when he had a spare moment alone. _If _he had a spare moment alone.

The silence that fell between them was thick with unspoken words and Daryl didn't dare utter a single one. He watched as Rick ran a hand through his hair and down his face wearily before meeting his eyes. Daryl wasn't sure what he saw there, but all the same he took a step back as Rick advanced. The other man barreled into him, nearly knocking the breath from him as he backed him against the wall. Daryl remained still, but ready to lash out if need be.

"What you did was the stupidest thing I have _ever_ seen in my life," Rick began and Daryl's jaw twitched. "You and this group are everything to me and I _need_ you." _  
_

Daryl frowned. What the hell was Rick trying to say? It sounded like he was repeating himself over and over again. He opened his mouth to snap at him to get on with it, but froze when strong lips covered his own. His first instinct was to react violently, a familiar defense mechanism he had built up over the course of the years. Rick anticipated this move however and broke the kiss to pin him in place.

"The fuck, Rick?" Daryl questioned even as his breath grew heavy and the zipper on his jeans began to bulge.

Realization dawned over Rick's face and he loosened his grip slightly. "I'm sorry," he mumbled. "I think I'm losing my fucking mind." He laughed without humor.

"What makes ya think that?"

Rick pinned him with his stare, "Because I'm so angry at you that I could choke you, but instead all I want to do is bend you over and fuck the hell out of you."

The silence that followed was so deep that Daryl was sure they were both holding their breath. He was speechless and it took him several moments to process just what Rick was saying. He wasn't sure he was hearing him correctly.

"Do it." Daryl's barely uttered words caught Rick's attention.

There was a raging intensity lying just underneath the surface as the air around them seemed to shift. Still pinned to the wall, Daryl's chest barely brushed against Rick's as he breathed in deeply, waiting on Rick to make a move. Daryl stared him down, still pinned to the wall by Rick's body, challenging him with his eyes. He repeated to himself over and over in his head that this was Rick and Rick wouldn't judge him for this.

"Just remember you asked for this...I won't go easy," Rick warned.

"Then just fuckin' do it. I ain't Lori, don't need you to hold my hand."

"Good because I won't."

"_Good_," Daryl hissed, pushing his face closer to Rick.

They squared off against each other and Rick planted his palms against the wall on either side of Daryl's head. Rick slowly lowered his head and brushed his lips against Daryl's neck. Daryl's lips parted and he released a big gust of air as waves of desire rippled through him.

"Harder. I ain't gonna break," Daryl urged. Rick lifted his head and Daryl could see that the other man's eyes were filled with desire as well. It helped to ease his anxiety that this was okay.

Rick pushed his face into Daryl's neck more forcefully this time and Daryl hissed as Rick's teeth bit into his skin. Rick nibbled the flesh between his teeth and then sucked on it soothingly with his mouth leaving one hell of a hickey on his neck. Daryl was too drunk with desire to care about anything other than how good this felt.

Rick pulled away and paused as he closed his eyes a moment, his breathing deepening. "What's goin' on? Why'd you stop?" Daryl's voice came out thick with barely controlled desire.

"I had to get...myself under control," Rick finally muttered. "I'm harder than a fucking teenager for Christ's sake. I'm not sure why I'm so turned on right now, but I want to touch you. Is that okay with you?"

Fuck yeah it was okay. It was _better_ than okay and Daryl worked to control his excitement at Rick's words. He merely nodded as he chewed on his lip, not really knowing if he was expected to do something or wait for Rick's cue.

Thankfully, Rick took over and pushed Daryl's vest off of his shoulders then moved shaking fingers to his shirt, but Daryl flinched away from him.

"No. Leave it," he ordered.

Rick glanced at his eyes and saw the unspoken emotions lurking within and he only nodded, moving down to Daryl's jeans. The moment that Rick knelt before him was a moment that Daryl Dixon was sure to never forget. He wasn't sure how it was possible, but his cock seemed to grow even harder the closer that Rick got to him. He stared down at the sheriff, burning this image into his memory for those lonely nights sure to come.

Rick took his time peeling open Daryl's jeans, his mouth closing over Daryl's hip bone as it was revealed and making Daryl jerk his hips forward. Encouraged by the response, Rick opened his mouth and scraped his teeth over Daryl's skin making him moan. Rick's eyes were dark, their piercing blues replaced by the lust that was driving him forward in that moment. But Daryl wanted more.

"Suck me." Daryl uttered the words without thinking, driven on by images that kept forming within his head. Rick leaned back and stared up at Daryl, his eyes flickering dangerously even as he pushed Daryl's jeans to his ankles.

"After that stunt you pulled earlier? You think you deserve my mouth on you?" Rick growled quietly.

Daryl shivered almost feverishly as Rick's hand closed over his hard cock still hidden beneath his boxer briefs. He pushed his hips forward, pumping his length through Rick's loosely held fist. It was too much.

"I saved your fuckin' life. Damn right I deserve it. Do it," Daryl demanded with a ferocity he didn't know he possessed at that moment.

Rick snatched his briefs downward and watched as Daryl's cock sprang forth to greet him. He eyed it and licked his lips, making sure his eyes connected with Daryl in that moment.

"That was a stupid stunt, Daryl. You could have easily gotten yourself killed. I don't think you realize the gravity of the situation, how badly I want to torture you until you beg me right now. Do you think you could handle that?"

Daryl nearly bit his tongue in half at the things that Rick was saying to him. The bastard had to know how badly it was affecting him. Daryl wanted Rick to do all of those things to him, almost more than he had ever wanted anything in his life before.

"Give it your best shot," Daryl challenged and Rick chuckled under his breath.

He gripped Daryl's cock again, experimentally sliding his fist over the firm skin, watching as a drop of Daryl's cum formed at the tip. "Never done this before," Rick admitted. "But I've received enough that I think I can wing it."

Daryl was quiet, watching as Rick pumped him twice more and then opened his mouth. He held his breath as Rick slid his hot mouth over him, enveloping him with a heat that threatened to make him spontaneously combust. He started off slowly, sliding him in and out of his mouth and then he grew faster, taking more of him in. Daryl bared his teeth, clamping down on his lip as he forced himself to hold back. He wasn't ready for this to be over. Grabbing ahold of Rick's hair, Daryl guided the other man in sucking his cock, groaning when Rick swallowed him deeper.

"Fuck," Daryl breathed. "Suck it harder. Don't be a bitch."

Rick chuckled over a mouthful of his cock and the vibrations sparked Daryl's release. His body grew taut and he had no time to warn Rick as strings of cum spewed from him and into Rick's mouth who was doing his best to swallow everything given to him. Daryl held tight to Rick's hair until the aftershocks were over and he blinked, the fog of lust clearing partially as he released his hold on him.

Rick stood and wiped his mouth as Daryl made a move to pull up his pants. "No," Rick said suddenly. "Leave them down. I want to look."

Daryl nodded quickly and reached for Rick, pushing his back against the wall firmly. Rick's eyes were still dark with lust and Daryl wanted to keep that look on him as long as possible. It gave him a sense of pride to know that he was the one putting that look on Rick's face.

He wasted no time in nibbling his way across Rick's neck, nipping at the skin lightly as he went. He was careful not to leave marks, remembering that he would already have on mark that would likely need explaining sooner or later. Shoving up Rick's shirt, Daryl ran his hands across the hair on his abdomen, feeling the ridges of muscle just underneath the skin. Rick hummed low in his throat as Daryl's fingers fumbled with the button and zipper of his jeans, finally forcing them down his hips to fall at his ankles. Rick gripped Daryl by the front of his shirt and jerked him forward, their bare cocks brushing together intimately. Daryl closed his eyes as they slid against each other, the friction threatening to send them over the edge. Daryl was hard again, his body aching with a need to be consumed by this man.

Dropping to his knees, Daryl ran his hands over Rick's cock marveling at the length and shape of him. Rick's cock was thicker than Daryl's, but not quite as long. The tip was red and swollen, a string of precum oozing from it. Daryl ran his tongue across that tip, collecting the white substance into his mouth as Rick's mouth fell open above him. Spurred on, Daryl wasted no time in wrapping his lips around Rick. It took him a moment to adjust as Rick had, but as he began to suck he fell into a steady rhythm. Rick began to pant, muttering obscenities under his breath as Daryl experimented.

"_Fuck yeah...God...Holy shit yes. Suck my cock you bitch...just like that."_ Rick's muttered words were making Daryl throb almost to the point of pain and as he continued to suck him, he grabbed onto his own cock and began to fist it, pumping furiously towards his release. Running his hand over Rick, he used the combined mixture of his spit and Rick's fluid to coat his own cock. The thought of having Rick's cum on him only fueled his fire and he moaned around the cock that filled him.

"You like that?" Rick murmured. "Like my cock in you?"

Daryl growled, sucking on him harder and Rick pumped his hips further into Daryl's hot mouth. Daryl jerked himself harder, his lips wrapping around Rick more firmly as he grew closer to his release.

"Yeah...ah...next time I wanna fuck you the right way."

Daryl groaned around Rick, the words setting him off and he began to spurt warm cum all over the floor between Rick's spread legs.

"Fuck," Rick gasped. That was all the warning that Daryl got as Rick's cum spilled inside of his throat. He coughed at the first shot, but recovered quickly as he worked to drink down every last drop and leave nothing behind. He released Rick when the man began to soften in his mouth and Daryl collapsed onto his back on the floor beneath him. His chest was heaving from his exertion and the adrenaline of the moment.

Rick slid down against the wall across from him, sweat covering his forehead as he breathed in deep. They didn't speak for a bit, neither of them entirely sure what to say or where to start. They fixed their clothing in silence, casting quick glances at each other.

Now that the moment was over, Daryl was nervous. What if Rick hadn't really wanted that to happen? What if Rick had just been looking for some way to ease his lust? He chewed on his fingers, working at the skin around the nails worryingly.

"Daryl."

Daryl paused in the act of biting into his skin and looked over at Rick warily. He didn't seem upset. Instead he just seemed thoughtful and that eased Daryl's anxiety a small fraction.

"I don't want to screw this up. You...our friendship, it means everything to me," Rick explained.

"You didn't screw nothin' up. I'm good," Daryl replied.

Rick studied him, "What we did...you're okay with it?"

Daryl shrugged. Rick didn't know just how okay with it Daryl really was. He was hoping for a repeat sometime soon, but he wouldn't push his luck. He wanted to tell Rick that he had always had these feelings deep down, but it was too soon and he wasn't quite ready himself yet either. "Didn't bother me none."

Rick expelled a breath, stepping closer to him, "Would you- I mean do you want to do that again?"

"What, now?"

Rick laughed, "No, not right this minute. I don't think I am physically able, but I meant in general."

Daryl already knew the answer to that question, but he appeared to think about it a minute in order to not seem too eager. "Yeah, I'm okay with that. I want to keep this between us though."

"Yeah. I don't think we should tell the others, you're right. We keep this between you and me," Rick agreed. He yanked Daryl up against him, their hard bodies colliding. "And if you ever pull that shit again, I'll make good on my threat from earlier and you will surrender."

Daryl's lips curled into a half smile, "Same goes for you sheriff and don't you fuckin' forget it."

...


	2. Chapter 2

**So...there wasn't supposed to be any more parts to this, but I found myself on a Rickyl spiral this morning thanks to several lovely ladies. It just kept going until this  came spewing out. I can't promise more chapters, but here you go! Hope you enjoy! Thanks :)**

...

Rick awoke before Daryl the next morning, shocked by the fact that the other man was still sleeping. It was a rare occasion for any of them to wake before Daryl who in Rick's mind never seemed to sleep. They had taken two separate church pews and used them for makeshift beds through the night. Rick had slept fitfully, his dreams alternating between his family and Daryl.

He knew that his relationship - or lack thereof, with Lori was over. He had accepted that cold hard fact months ago. He also knew that the baby that she was carrying was likely not his, but Shane's. Fucking his best friend was the last thing that he had ever expected from Lori and even now the pain was still fresh, still tender. It was getting to the point where he couldn't even look at her without seeing the infidelity written all over her face. He didn't even know her anymore.

And then there was Daryl.

Rick sat up in his pew and leaned against the back of it, staring over at the other man who was still sleeping. To say that he didn't understand where these feelings for Daryl had come from would be somewhat of a lie. He knew he cared deeply for Daryl, anyone in the group could see that, but the sexual attraction that he felt for the other man was harder for him to understand. There had never been a point in his life where he had felt a similar attraction for the same sex, not even with Shane and they had been just as close as he and Daryl were now once upon a time. He couldn't figure it out and the fact that Daryl had responded to him so willingly blew his mind.

What they had shared last night in this very church had been the hottest thing that Rick had ever experienced in his life. He had never been turned on that much by someone before. And being with Daryl had been so easy, so uncomplicated. Of course if they continued to explore this passion between them, this attraction, then they wouldn't just be able to flaunt it out in the open. They would have to be discreet about it, at least for a little while. It wasn't because Rick felt ashamed of having these feelings for another man, but Carl was still young and a part of him felt like he wasn't emotionally ready for anything of this magnitude. Carl wasn't stupid and he knew that his parents were having troubles, but Rick wasn't sure just how much his son really knew. There were things that would have to be dealt with before anything could be done about he and Daryl.

He rose to his feet slowly, cracking his neck once before crossing to the windows and peering out into the faint morning light that had just begun to creep over the earth. He listened, but everything was quiet and somewhat peaceful for now which he was thankful for. He walked over to the edge of the pew and looked down at Daryl, watching him sleep. It occurred to him that he hadn't ever watched the other man sleep before. Once upon a time he had watched Lori sleep on occasion, especially when working long nights down at the station. But watching Daryl sleep had never happened because it was usually a rare moment that anyone was allowed to see the man with his guard down.

In his sleep Daryl's face was more relaxed than Rick thought he had ever seen it. One arm was lifted towards his face, casually draped across his forehead while his other hand rested on his crossbow. Rick knew that if he made any noise at all then Daryl would rouse from his sleep ready to attack. He admired that about him, but then again he admired so many things about the man that lay before him. Daryl had changed since Rick had come to know him. The day that Daryl had advanced on him in the quarry Rick could see the big chip he had been carrying on his shoulder and how he was ready to lash out at the world. Since then, Daryl had calmed considerably and he had warmed up to the group, finding his own niche among them.

Whether Daryl realized it or not, Rick _did_ need him. It was crazy how much Rick had come to depend on the other man to be there...to have his back when the situation called for it. Daryl was always there, picking up the pieces where Rick went slack or started to lose his way. He had an uncanny ability to keep Rick grounded and because of his loyalty and friendship, Rick trusted Daryl with his life. He could only hope that Daryl had that much trust in him as well because Rick knew that he would never let anything happen to him.

Below him Daryl shifted, his hand drifting down to the crotch of his jeans to tug gently at the material there. Rick followed this action with a bemused smile and he could feel the first tendrils of desire creeping over him. He wanted another moment with Daryl. They would have to head out soon and then Rick had no idea when they might get another moment alone like this where they could just be together: Rick and Daryl.

He was so focused on watching Daryl's hand situate himself in his jeans that he didn't even notice Daryl's eyes were open. It wasn't until Daryl moved his hand that Rick felt his gaze on him and they locked eyes. Rick knew that his desire was shining rampant in his gaze, but he held nothing back, wanting Daryl to know just how badly he wanted him. Daryl studied him quietly for several minutes and then he cleared his throat, hooking a hand onto the back of the pew to pull himself up.

"Why didn't ya wake me up?" Daryl asked, voice still laced with sleep.

Rick shrugged and walked casually around the pew to sit next to him, their shoulders brushing. "Figured you needed your sleep."

Daryl snorted, "Can sleep when I'm dead."

"I need you refreshed. I want to run back into that town, grab those supplies I saw. We could use those, especially since supplies are becoming scarce."

Daryl nodded as he rested his bow on the floor between his legs, his fingers playing with the taut line. "Anything ya need."

Rick grew still at his words, his body becoming very attuned to Daryl. "Anything?" Rick asked hoarsely.

Daryl looked at him dead on, raising one thick eyebrow. His hair was getting longer and several locks were falling towards his face giving Rick the urge to grab onto them and put his mouth all over him. He squeezed his hands into fists, holding them tightly to his lap. He wanted Daryl to come to him this time, wanted to see if Daryl desired him just as much.

"You had somethin' in mind?" Daryl asked.

"Just asking a simple question."

"Ain't no such thing as a simple question anymore these days Rick. What do ya want?" Daryl's voice grew deeper, his voice taking on that husky tone that he seemed to adopt often.

Rick leaned back in the pew, stretching his long legs out ahead of him and he ran his hands over his face, rubbing it briskly. What was he doing? He had nearly assaulted the man last night and this morning he was trying to seduce Daryl into coming on to him. He groaned in frustration.

Every cell in Rick's body froze as he felt Daryl's hand slide across his jean-clad thigh, his rough fingers applying just enough pressure to make Rick moan out loud softly. He moved his hands as his chest heaved in and out and saw Daryl's eyes locked onto him as he continued to rub him in that same spot. Eager for more, Rick spread his legs out further, slouching down just enough that the tip of Daryl's fingers grazed his prominent erection.

"Christ that feels good," Rick muttered. "It feels so fucking good to be touched." He paused as a thought crossed his mind. "You know you don't have to do this, right?"

Daryl huffed, his movements becoming bolder now as he outright cupped Rick through his jeans. "Wouldn't be doin' it if I didn't want to." Daryl glanced towards the windows where the light was becoming brighter as the sun began to rise higher. "We got time if ya want it," he suggested.

Rick laughed half-heartedly, sucking in a breath when Daryl began to slide his zipper down. "_If_ I want it?" He cast a cursory glance at Daryl and the other man's face blushed a faint red. "You were with me last night," Rick said. "Do you doubt that I do?" He grabbed Daryl's hand suddenly and held it over his hard cock that pulsed beneath his jeans. "Does this feel like I don't?"

Daryl moved quicker than he expected, threading his thick fingers into Rick's hair and pulling their mouths together sharply. It occurred to Rick now that he had a moment to think about it, that for all of Daryl's hard edges the man had soft lips. Kissing him was nothing like he had expected kissing another man to be. Aside from the scratch of his beard, it really wasn't all that different if Rick were honest. Except that he wanted this badly, probably more than he had ever wanted anything with Lori and he knew that wasn't fair, but it felt true to him. He wanted this man before him on his knees, his hot mouth stroking him until he came down his throat. He wanted to watch Daryl swallow every drop of his cum again.

Rick broke the kiss to pant, "Please," he begged.

Daryl glanced down between them and Rick felt his fingers undoing the button of his jeans, the last thing holding them onto his hips. Daryl slipped his hand inside the waist and grabbed onto Rick. Rick arched into him and his head fell back over the side of the pew in ecstasy. Daryl nipped at his throat, his teeth gnashing over his earlobe, his breath hot in his ear.

"Since ya asked so nicely," Daryl whispered. "Want my mouth on you?"

Rick's cock slipped between the opening of his boxers and Daryl's hand slid over his bare flesh. "Dammit," he muttered brokenly. "God, you know I do."

"Just wanted to hear ya say it," Daryl replied.

Rick gave a throaty laugh, the sound dying quickly in his throat as Daryl slipped down to the floor between his spread legs. Rick waited with bated breath, but nothing happened.

"Look at me," Daryl demanded suddenly. Rick lifted his head and their eyes locked, hot-white desire pulsing between them. "I ain't Lori."

Rick nodded once. He understood. Daryl didn't want Rick pretending he was someone else. He wanted Rick to know exactly who was sucking him off and the thought of it all only added to Rick's excitement over the matter. Daryl paused for effect and then opened his mouth, sliding it down onto him deeply. Rick watched him the whole time, never able to tear his eyes away from the sight before him. It was so erotic, so dirty, but so _right_ at the same time.

The warm suction of Daryl's mouth sliding over him threatened to send Rick over the edge almost immediately. On impulse he gripped a fistful of Daryl's hair, wanting to be closer to him somehow...needing that connection. Daryl grunted, picking up the pace as he ran his tongue up the underside of Rick's cock.

"Fuck," Rick muttered and it felt good to let it all out. Knowing that Daryl could handle it, he pulled his hair harder and was reprimanded with a slight scrape of the teeth over his member. Rick hissed and Daryl smirked around a mouthful of cock. He resisted the very strong urge to pound his hips into Daryl's mouth. "Fuck me, your mouth is fantastic," he murmured.

Daryl pulled away from him for a second, his hand picking up where his mouth left off. "Know somethin' else that'd feel fantastic," Daryl commented.

Rick's eyes widened and he blinked through his lust-filled haze. Was Daryl suggesting what he thought he was? Several images ran through his mind, mainly one of him towering over Daryl from behind, fucking him until they both collapsed from exhaustion. Had Daryl done that with someone else? That thought immediately led him to wonder just how much Daryl _had _done.

Rick couldn't answer him and Daryl didn't prod, instead engulfing him with his mouth once more. Rick sighed at the tight pressure and he closed his eyes, allowing himself to envision fucking Daryl. He bit his lip as he pictured himself catching Daryl off guard and holding him prisoner against the wall. He would run his hands all over him roughly and Daryl would take everything that Rick gave him without question. It was that trust that was always so evident in their relationship combined with the reality that he _could_ fuck Daryl that sent him over the edge. He cried out, rising off of the pew slightly as he filled Daryl's mouth with his cum. It took him several minutes to come down from his orgasmic high and he released a deep relaxing breath, his eyes landing on Daryl who was watching him intently.

Rick tucked himself back into his jeans, mindful of Daryl's eyes and he leaned forward. "When you said you knew something else..." Rick let his sentence trail off.

"You ain't stupid. I'm sure you can figure it out. In fact, considerin' how you hard you just came, I'm assumin' the idea was appealin' to you."

The corner of Rick's mouth lifted in a smile and he chuckled softly before brushing his lips over Daryl's. "I've never done anything like that," Rick said softly. "Have you?" He knew he was fishing for information on Daryl's sex life, but he found himself kind of curious to know now that they were on the topic.

Much to Rick's relief, Daryl shook his head no which led to Rick's next question. "Have you fucked a woman?"

Daryl wouldn't meet his gaze this time which Rick found interesting, but Daryl nodded and Rick accepted it for what it was. Daryl didn't offer up much about his personal life freely, but just these few tidbits here and there meant more to Rick than Daryl would ever know.

Daryl stood and Rick followed, grabbing onto his arm and jerking him to a stop. "I want to fuck you," Rick admitted. "Just not here, not like this."

Daryl was silent, but his shoulders dropped some, releasing some of his tension from mere moments ago. He wanted him in that moment, wanted to bring this strong man to his knees with pleasure. He hadn't had this intense of a connection with anyone in so long that he dreaded walking out of this church and back to the reality that was their life. But as much as he needed Daryl, he also needed his son too and he knew that.

"Drop your pants," Rick demanded suddenly, the words bursting forth from his mouth in a way that surprised him. He had been so calm with Daryl going down on him, but now that it was his turn he was feeling an intense surge of adrenaline run through his veins.

He wasn't surprised when Daryl merely looked at him with a lifted brow, disregarding his command. "You givin' orders now, Rick?" Daryl asked.

Rick stepped forward, making sure to crowd Daryl's space with his body. He let his eyes linger all over every inch of the hunter, making sure that Daryl felt his touch from head to toe. "Yeah," Rick responded gruffly. "Yeah, I am."

They stared at each other for a single heartbeat of a moment and then Daryl swept his hands out to his sides. "How 'bout you do it for me?" He challenged.

Rick dropped to his knees and worked Daryl's pants open, sliding them off of his hips to fall to his ankles. Daryl was hard and Rick wasted no time in pulling him out and taking him by storm. This time he had a better feel for what he was doing and he worked it to his advantage. Occasionally he cast his eyes upward to Daryl, sometimes locking with those piercing blues and others catching Daryl with his eyes closed, his lips partly open. Rick took him as deep as he could, resisting the urge to gag from the length as he did so.

"Christ, why do ya have to feel so good?" Daryl murmured.

Rick swirled his tongue over the head of him, pulling his mouth back with a soft pop that made Daryl moan. In a moment of inspiration he found Daryl's balls and cupped them with his hands, massaging them with his fingers. Daryl jerked forward, one hand falling to Rick's shoulder to hold himself upright. It made Rick feel good to be there for Daryl in this way, to have Daryl need him and be there to hold him up.

"Why do you have to taste so good?" Rick asked him as he stood, his hand still stroking Daryl. He wanted to kiss this man and he almost laughed at just how crazy the whole idea sounded in his head. Rick Grimes wanted to kiss a _man._ Daryl's breathing was erratic as Rick cupped the back of his head and claimed his mouth. Daryl's tongue skirted against his own and Rick made a noise in the back of his throat. Breaking free of the kiss, he buried his face into Daryl's neck. "I _will _fuck you soon," Rick breathed. "You won't know it's coming, but it's gonna happen and I won't go easy. I want to see you come apart because of _me._" He punctuated each word carefully, noticing the slight shiver that Daryl gave.

"What about me?" Daryl asked on a ragged breath.

"What about you?" Rick asked.

"What if I wanna fuck you too?"

Rick almost stopped what he was doing...almost. He hadn't ever thought of that until now. Could he handle that? Would he be able to take Daryl's cock in him like that? He swallowed, "Yeah. You can fuck me too," he replied.

"I won't go easy either," Daryl breathed.

Rick knelt back down, running his tongue over Daryl's tip. "Looking forward to it."

He slid his mouth back over the ridged skin, sucking for all he was worth. He knew Daryl was close. He could see it in the way that the other man held himself, by the expression on his face. His bottom lip was puckered out and his teeth were exposed just enough for Rick to see as he bit down on it. Rick groaned at the effect it had on him. Daryl's grip on his shoulder tightened until it was almost painful and then he let go as he began to cum. Rick struggled to accept it, not thinking at all while he did so. He pulled away once Daryl was finished and watched as Daryl pulled his jeans back up.

He knew without looking that it was time for them to head out. They couldn't afford to spend any more time here especially since he wanted to hit those stores for supplies before heading back to the group. The others would be worried if they didn't show up soon he knew. Rick climbed shakily to his feet and released a long drawn out breath.

"We need to be hittin' the road if we're gonna make good time. Looks like we're hoofin' it," Daryl remarked.

Rick nodded, "Yeah. Gonna have to find a vehicle or else we'll be packing all this back to the group on our backs."

Daryl smirked. "Gettin' soft on me? Thought you cops were built for shit like that."

"I knew the cop thing was gonna come back and bite me in the ass."

Daryl chuckled, "Let's get the fuck outta here."

"Yeah. It's kind of wrong, don't you think?" Rick asked as he helped Daryl to move the pew they had barred the door with.

"What is?"

"This is a Baptist church and we just..." Rick gestured between them with his hand. "We just committed a deadly sin or something."

Daryl snorted, "Hate to break it to ya, but it ain't the first sin we've committed an' it sure as shit won't be the last. Now you comin' or not?"

Rick shot him a bemused look. "Thought I just did."

"The man's got jokes," Daryl muttered, shaking his head as they walked out into the fresh air. "Come on Sheriff. Ya play nice an' I might let ya pat me down later."

"I can get behind that." Rick snickered and was rewarded with a soft punch to the gut.

...


	3. Chapter 3

**I didn't intend on getting this one out tonight, but so many of you asked (ahem, politely demanded) that I write it so here it is. I haven't had the best day so to speak so please be gentle with any errors. I've combed it through, but I'm only human after all. I might could be persuaded for one more chapter after this...we'll see how well the muse cooperates. I really do appreciate all of you and your kind reviews. They push me to write and I thank you for it! Enjoy!**

...

The trip back to the town to search for supplies proved worthwhile when they managed to collect three bags of food. It wouldn't be enough to last them long, but then again it never was enough these days. It seemed as if they were always tired, always hungry, and always looking over their shoulder for danger. Hopefully the sight of the food would lift the group's spirits some...Rick was counting on it more than usual.

They had located a truck, a piece of shit Ford pickup that had seen better days, but still managed to sputter to life when Daryl hot-wired it. They were making good time getting back to the others, but Rick was a little on edge. As stupid as it was, part of him worried that the others would know what he and Daryl had spent the night and morning doing. He felt guilty and it wasn't because of the fact that Daryl was a man. Rick felt guilty because he had _enjoyed _himself while the others had been hungry and waiting on them to return. His son being one of those people.

It wasn't right and he of all people should have known better. He was supposed to be a leader...the others looked up to him. He couldn't help the guilt that consumed him. The last thing he should have been thinking about was his own pleasure, but he had. He stared out of the passenger window as the land around them flew past, Daryl's boot hitting the accelerator a little harder than usual. Things were quiet between them...had been since they had gotten into the truck and Rick knew he should be helping Daryl pay attention to possible danger, but he couldn't stop thinking about things.

Daryl slammed on the brakes suddenly, nearly sending Rick tumbling to the floorboard of the truck. Instantly he was on alert, but when he looked around he saw nothing that presented any danger. Wearily he met Daryl's gaze and saw that he was staring out of the windshield, a serious expression upon his face.

"Stop."

Just that. Just, _stop _and nothing else. Rick wondered briefly if Daryl could read his mind somehow, but he didn't say anything. He was afraid that if he did then he might say something that would hurt Daryl's feelings and that was the last thing that Rick wanted to do. Besides, it wasn't even that Rick hadn't _wanted_ to do all those things with Daryl. He had wanted them and hell, he _still_ wanted them even now. Maybe he wouldn't have felt so bad if the the others hadn't been so beaten when he had left. The defeated looks upon all of their faces were haunting him now. He could still see the raw hunger in his son's eyes that he was trying so desperately to fight.

"I'm sorry," Rick said.

Daryl shook his head in frustration. "Sorry for what exactly?"

Rick shrugged, his eyes sweeping the area around them, noticing that Daryl was doing the exact same thing as him. "Not for what happened between us if that's what you're implying."

"Explain it to me then," Daryl coaxed.

Rick didn't want to explain it, but a part of him did all the same. Everything that happened to him lately he kept bottled inside with no outlet, no way to release those demons. Everyone expected so much from him, but no one ever thought that he might need someone to talk to, some method of release from all of the responsibility. And then there was Daryl again...sitting so patiently on the other side of that truck and waiting for Rick to talk to him. For the first time in a long while someone wanted to hear what Rick had to say, wanted him to get shit off his chest. It struck him how out of everyone that it was Daryl who threw down the gauntlet. It was always Daryl.

"It's hard to explain," Rick said softly. He glanced down at the dried blood that spotted his jeans, the splatters creating a random pattern. It reminded him of the time he had painted Carl's nursery for Lori. "The others...they're exhausted and hungry. They were depending on me - on _us_, to bring them food."

"And you're feelin' guilty," Daryl finished for him.

Rick glanced at him in surprise, shocked that Daryl could read him so well. There was so much more depth to Daryl that most of the group never saw, but sometimes he let Rick see it.

"Yeah," Rick nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I am."

"That ain't on us Rick. It ain't on _you._ You put it on yourself...this huge responsibility to provide for everyone, but it shouldn't be just on you. Or me," he added. "You need ta take time out for you too, ya know?"

"...I know."

"No, I don't think ya do," Daryl argued. "Let me ask ya somethin'. How are ya feelin' this mornin'?"

The question caught him off guard a little and he chewed over his answer. He took a minute to really think about his response, how his body felt. He didn't feel as tense as yesterday and not quite as anxious as all the days beforehand for sure. That intense ache between his shoulderblades had receded to a dull throb that didn't annoy him quite as much.

"Guess I'm feelin' a little better than before," he admitted.

Daryl nodded, "Me too. Helps to release a lil' tension every now an' again." He stared pointedly at Rick until Rick got the point and he chuckled softly as he rubbed his hands over his jean-clad thighs.

"Guess you're right...hell you're always right," Rick teased.

Daryl snorted, "Hardly. We all make bad decisions from time ta time. The trick is learnin' how ta live with them without lettin' them change ya."

Daryl stared at him for another few seconds before releasing the brake and heading on down the highway. Rick still felt the guilt, but it wasn't quite as prominent now and he was able to let his thoughts drift as they headed back to the others who were waiting.

...

"Thank God you're safe!" Carol's voice was filled with emotion as she hugged Daryl tightly. She reached out and squeezed Rick's hand affectionately as he climbed out of the passenger seat next to them. "Both of you," she clarified.

Rick nodded and returned the squeeze, his eyes searching for his son. He spotted Lori who had come out of the house and was standing on the large porch, her hands rubbing her swollen belly gently. She met his eyes briefly and he looked away, not wanting to see any of the emotions she might be displaying. Reaching into the truck he pulled out the bags of food and handed them to Carol. Her eyes widened in surprise and then delight as she glanced at the contents.

"You're a Godsend," she whispered gratefully.

"Have you seen Carl?" Rick asked.

She nodded, "He's out back with Glenn talking about guy stuff." She made a face to go along with that statement and Rick grinned, shaking his head in amusement. He would let them be for now and maybe later he and Carl could talk about some things. Not about himself and Daryl, but they needed to talk about his relationship with Lori - or lack thereof.

Daryl brushed up against him as he grabbed his crossbow from behind the seat of the truck and Rick felt that intense heat spread all throughout his body. He swallowed deeply, dragging his gaze to Daryl who briefly met his eyes before turning away. He patted Rick's stomach with his hand, his eyes saying things he would never say out loud.

"Catch ya later Sheriff."

Rick watched him head around the house, more than likely to take over for whoever was on watch and he shook his head. It was going to be hard to keep his feelings for Daryl contained, but he was going to have to rein them in before it became obvious to everyone else.

...

Rick glanced down at Lori's sleeping form on one of the beds upstairs. T-Dog and Carol were on watch, hunkered down under the shelter of the huge porch that lined the house. Rick had just come off of his shift, his body feeling worn and achy, the pain in his shoulders having returned. He knew that the bulk of his aches came from stress, but also from the fact that he was simply getting older now and things didn't always work the way that they used to.

There weren't many options for places to sleep as rooms were limited. Rick would have slept on the couch downstairs, but for some reason he had drifted upstairs to Lori's room. He was seeking comfort, some sort of reassurance that things were going to be okay. Earlier they had had a close call when several walkers had ambled out of the bush and headed straight for Beth, their jaws snapping at her flesh hungrily. She had screamed in panic, trying to fight them off before Daryl had gotten several shots in as the others had run for her in fear. It had been too close of a call.

The fact of the matter was that they weren't safe here. The house, although providing some small amount of security and comfort with it's four walls and a roof wouldn't hold up to a sizable herd should they pass through. Rick knew it...everybody knew it, but not everyone was crazy about going on the road again and Rick couldn't say that he blamed them. It hadn't been easy out there hopping from place to place with no permanent location, but somehow they had managed...just like they always did.

Rick stood there a moment longer, gazing down at his wife and waiting to feel that spark of warmth, of _love_, for the woman who had been his high school sweetheart. Instead, he felt nothing but resentment and maybe even a slight tinge of anger still, especially when she turned and her pregnant belly was visible to his gaze. Casting his eyes downward, he moved stealthily back out of the room and into the hallway...alone.

He strolled slowly down the hall and pondered going back downstairs to help keep watch, but he knew it would ultimately only open the pathway for conversation and he wasn't sure he wanted to talk just yet. He stopped at the edge of the stairs and glanced back at the last door he had passed - the door to Daryl's room.

Did he dare go to Daryl in the middle of the night like this with all the others so close by? And what if he did? Inevitably he knew what would happen if he opened that doorway...if he took that next step in this new relationship that they had going. The longer he stood there, the more he realized that it was exactly what he wanted, exactly what he _needed_.

Rick tapped on the door, his fingers light and whisper-soft knowing that Daryl would hear him regardless. Not waiting for an invitation to enter, Rick turned the knob and stepped inside of the room, surprised to find Daryl standing near the window, his eyes gazing out over the yard below. As Rick closed the door behind him with a barely audible click, Daryl's head slowly swiveled in his direction until their eyes met. Rick reached behind him with one hand and turned the lock on the door, Daryl's brow raising slightly at the action.

It seemed so familiar to him, so _easy_ even to waltz inside of Daryl's space without having an offer. He was overcome with the very blunt fact that he had left the sanctity of his family to seek comfort in the arm's of another man. Except that once tight-knit bond the Grime's family had occupied at one time was no longer there, replaced instead by some distant and barely there sense of obligation.

"You alright?"

Rick blinked, noticing that while lost in his own thoughts Daryl had drifted close and was now standing right in front of him, his face a mask of concern. Rick ran a hand through his unruly hair, scratching at his scalp as he went. He shook his head and met Daryl's gaze, "No."

"The walkers?" Daryl asked.

"That...among other things." Rick blew out a tense breath, his hand drifting to his shoulders to rub at the ache that had become like second nature to his worn body.

Daryl stepped close, his fingers brushing against Rick's jaw as he began undoing the buttons of his shirt. Rick swallowed and dipped his chin to watch those fingers as they worked. When Daryl finished he pushed the flannel shirt free of Rick's shoulders, sliding it down his arms so that it dropped to the floor behind him. Grasping him by his belt loop, Daryl led Rick over to the bed and forced him to sit.

Rick sat perfectly still, breathing in Daryl's scent as it wafted around him. He closed his eyes and tried to regulate his breathing which might have actually worked had Daryl not dropped his own shirt to the floor at that moment, causing Rick's eyes to spring back open again. He had seen Daryl shirtless before, living with a small group in tight quarters made it hard to keep secrets sometimes, but he had never studied it like this before. Smooth, tan, skin sculpting defined muscles had Rick struggling to maintain a calm demeanor.

He felt the bed dip next to him as Daryl climbed behind him. Strong, callused, fingers slid over his shoulders, warm and incredibly firm as they kneaded his tight muscles. Rick immediately groaned, dropping his head forward until his chin touched his chest, surrendering himself without a second thought to the man behind him. Daryl used his thumbs and palm to work at the knots, circling them firmly before rubbing them smooth again. It was the closest thing to Heaven Rick Grimes had experienced in a long time.

And he was also aroused beyond belief.

After a time had passed, Rick reached up and stopped the progression of Daryl's hands, twisting his body around on the bed until they were face to face. Locking eyes with Daryl he could feel the raw arousal tainting his blood and it boiled deep within the pit of his stomach.

"What do you want?" Daryl asked softly.

"I want..." Rick paused, not entirely sure how to articulate his thoughts suddenly. This could go either way he had suddenly realized and he hadn't really thought out which way he wanted it to go until this very moment. He closed his eyes, images blazing through his mind. "I want you to fuck me," he finally stated.

Daryl's breath exhaled on a whoosh and he surged forward suddenly, grasping Rick by the neck as he took his lips by storm. Rick met him with equal fervor, his hands fisting into Daryl's hair. Their teeth clashed, but it didn't matter because Daryl's tongue was in his mouth and it felt so good that Rick was starving for more. Rick knocked Daryl backwards onto the bed and loomed over him, forcing him to the mattress with his kiss as his hand slid down the front of Daryl's jeans. He gripped Daryl's hard cock in one hand and slowly teased one finger over the head, watching in fascination as Daryl's hips lifted towards him.

"Fuck," Daryl muttered. His eyes met Rick's, dark with arousal. "Ya sure 'bout this?"

Rick chuckled then, surprised at the question that came after he had a grip on Daryl's erection. "Would you stop if I wasn't?" He questioned, his expression turning serious for the moment.

Without hesitation Daryl firmly replied, "Yes."

Rick slipped his hand free, taking note of the flash of confusion that crossed Daryl's hard features. He stood from the bed and unzipped his pants, letting them fall free of his body as Daryl watched from the bed. In no time at all he was undressed and clamoring back onto the bed as Daryl moved to undress himself as well.

Daryl pressed one knee back onto the bed, but Rick grabbed him by the arm, stopping him. "I don't need you to go easy on me," he said. "I need to forget it all. Make me forget," his voice was slightly pleading and Daryl nodded in consent.

Daryl worked his way between Rick's legs and slid his mouth over his cock, sucking him down deep. Rick hummed in pleasure as Daryl worked him, sliding his mouth down to the hilt, strings of saliva running out the edges of his lips and down his cock. He was so attuned to the feel of Daryl's mouth on him that he didn't even feel when Daryl's hand slipped between his legs to his ass until he felt a finger being pushed inside of him.

Rick jumped and Daryl pulled his mouth away to meet his eyes. "What-?" Rick was panting, his eyes wild and torn between wanting Daryl's hand there and pushing it away.

"Relax," Daryl urged. "Ya gotta fuckin' relax."

Rick lay his head back on the pillow, but he didn't relax even though he tried. This was all new to him, having sex with a man and he hadn't really thought how it would feel to have something inside of him so intimately.

"Wait," Rick breathed. "I thought you said you never...never done this before?"

Daryl paused and Rick waited with bated breath for his answer. "I haven't. Seen this shit in a porn once. Ya can't just go shovin' things in. There's work involved, just like with a woman."

"Did you just compare me to a woman?" Rick chuckled, his body relaxing more now. He was starting to get used to Daryl stroking him there, his fingers moving in small circles. He slid another finger in and Rick sucked in a breath at the fullness.

"Sure the hell talk as much as one," Daryl muttered. He withdrew his fingers and rolled Rick over suddenly, pinning him to the sheets with his body. Rick felt the air blow forcefully from his lungs. "Guess I'm the one givin' orders now Sheriff," Daryl murmured as his hands pushed against Rick's hips.

He teased his cock against Rick, butting it up against him so that it barely sunk inside. Growling underneath his breath, Rick rocked backward, but Daryl moved with him keeping just within reach.

"Goddamn it," Rick hissed. A slew of curse words broke free of his lips, broken only by the feeling of Daryl sliding inside of him. Rick paused as did Daryl, both of them taking a moment to adjust. There was pain - minimal, but it was there and Rick pushed past it. He rocked back into Daryl, urging him forth in a silent invitation that Daryl accepted immediately.

Daryl's hands gripped his hips, holding him steadily as he slid back and then thrust into Rick swiftly, taking them both by surprise.

"Fuck," Daryl muttered brokenly.

"Harder," Rick demanded in a hoarse voice stripped raw with need.

Daryl obliged, his strokes turning to rough thrusts that had him breathing heavily. Rick was hard, his erection barely grazing the top of the blankets as he took everything that Daryl had to give. He reached between his legs and grabbed his aching cock, stroking the hot flesh firmly. Daryl's fingers were bruising his hips, but he loved it, craved it even on a deeper level. He hadn't come here for some romantic tumble in the sheets he knew that now...he had come here to be fucked - to be fucked by Daryl Dixon to be exact.

Rick drew in a shuddering breath as everything in him grew hotter, his body growing taut as he continued to stroke himself. Daryl was breathing heavily from above him and Rick doubted that he would last long at this rate.

And then something happened.

Daryl shifted his hips slightly and the angle changed, but so did the sensations that flowed through Rick. With every thrust, Daryl threatened to send Rick over the edge as pleasure raced through his bloodstream. It was unlike anything he had ever experienced.

"Fuck!" Rick whispered harshly and his hands grappled at the sheets as he tried to retain his balance. He moaned, the noise sounding foreign even to his own ears. Daryl thrust onward, keeping position as Rick pushed backward to meet him, their bodies pounding into each other in a steady rhythm. Rick could feel his body teetering on the edge, his cock seeping fluid onto the bed below.

And then Daryl did something unexpected - he paused mid-thrust.

Rick tried to rock backward again, but Daryl's hands held him firmly in place and he released a low growl of impatience.

"Who am I?" Daryl's voice was octaves lower than normal, his tone laced with more authority than Rick had ever heard from him. He had a fleeting thought that if it were possible to get turned on by just the sound of Daryl's voice then he just had. His question gave him pause and he fumbled for the answer being sought.

"What-"

"Who the fuck am I Rick?"

Rick finally understood, it all clicked into place much like it had last time. "Daryl," he growled. "You're Daryl."

It must have been the answer Daryl had been seeking because he thrust into him once more, falling right back into the pace he had left off. Stroking that same spot that sent shivers of pleasure down Rick's spine. And he was done for. His body began to spasm, his cock pulsing and twitching as it spewed cum all over the sheets. He felt Daryl groan and his body seized up in pleasure, his naked chest braced against Rick's back as he fought for steady breaths.

He pulled away from Rick and they both toppled to the bed, their chests heaving from the exertion. Rick felt stretched out and sore. It hurt, but it wasn't anything that he couldn't handle and truth be told he kind of liked it.

Like he always had after great sex, Rick felt his eyelids begin to droop and he fought against it.

"Ya need some sleep," Daryl remarked.

Rick scoffed, "Anybody ever tell you that you're obnoxiously bossy in bed?" He smiled teasingly at Daryl.

"Fuck you," Daryl retorted.

"Just did."

"Christ! I might be obnoxious, but you're a smartass!"

Rick chuckled as Daryl stood and began putting his clothing back on. Rick knew that he should move or at the very least get dressed, but he just didn't have the energy all of a sudden. His whole body felt drained and he blinked several times in an effort to stay awake. He mumbled something about Daryl getting some rest as well, but he wasn't sure that Daryl understood him even though he glanced in his direction.

His last thoughts before succumbing to sleep were that he really ought not to take the risk of getting caught in Daryl's bed naked by any of the others. He never made it up though and he felt sleep pull him under moments later. He would worry about the other stuff later after he got some rest.

...


End file.
